UN recognises PowerPoint presentations as torture

Long, boring, corporate jargon-filled PowerPoint presentations are at long last a recognised form of torture, the United Nations announced today.

The ruling, which was added to the United Nations Convention against Torture treaty this morning, is the culmination of decades of campaigning by anguished office workers, civil servants, and other unfortunate subordinates to managers with no real purpose or skill.

“It would be depraved to argue such presentations don’t fall under cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment,” said secretary-general of the United Nations António Guterres. “Few experiences are more fatal to the human spirit than having to pretend to care about company growth, KPIs, and quick wins.”

An international coalition of middle managers has already formed to challenge the verdict, arguing PowerPoint presentations are not torturous so much as they are an advanced motivation technique.