The film watching public has been left furious by the revelation that Kurt Bilindeross, star of the upcoming film Pumpkin Pache, is not in fact a pumpkin himself.
What’s more, he isn’t orange or looks good after being disembowelled and having a lit candle placed inside him. He’s not even a vegetable for god’s sake.
“It’s a disgrace, an insult to pumpkins everywhere,” said Jeff Lazings, a vocal social media activist. “I dare say it speaks to institutional prejudice in Hollywood.”
When informed that Bilindeross’s co-star Linda Soot is also a human and not a sentient bucket as her casting suggests, Lazings for a time became speechless with rage and had to sit down.
“It makes one despair,” he said after gathering himself. “How can audiences be expected to look beyond their own experiences when actors aren’t playing characters from exactly the same demographic as themselves?”
In addition to petitioning for the film to be scrapped, campaigners have proposed a vetting process whereby biopic films can only star the people they’re about, playing themselves.