Not having tattoos now cooler than having them, scientists say
Those without tattoos are now officially edgier than those with them, according to an extensive new study published by the Technical University of Munich today.
The decade-long study tracked the lives of 10,000 people and found the seemingly untouchable mystique of tattoos has been eroded by years of unimaginative choices and shoddy execution. Swallows, star-heavy sleeves, and names written in cursive on people’s wrists were highlighted as particularly egregious examples.
“There’s no getting around it,” lead researcher Dr Augustus Schweiner said, “tattooed people are now more likely to be perceived as conformist shills than those with no tattoos at all. If you want to seem employable be sure to have ink showing at interviews. Preferably something like a Deathly Hallows symbol.”
It has long been suspected tattoos have reached a tipping point, with uncool people now more comfortable getting them and sharing pictures of them with their uncool friends. The study found awesome tattooed people do still exist but are now very much a minority group.
The International Coalition of Interesting Inked People has convened an emergency conference in Helsinki to discuss the future of the artform.