Lizard people furious no-one takes them seriously any more

Lizard people of the world are in the midst of an identity crisis after years of whack job conspiracy theories have turned them into figures of fun.

Once feared for their conniving, disruptive, often downright nefarious tendencies, our reptilian would-be overlords are no longer taken seriously in villainous circles. If anything their involvement is viewed as a hindrance.

“Dastardly organisations won’t give us a look in any more,” lizard person Arllok Shivr told The Whale-Lines. “Our stock has gone way down. They mainly go in for PR execs and lobbyists these days.”

Unemployment in the lizard people community hit a historic high of 67 percent last week, with many more reportedly underemployed as janitors and truck drivers. Rising human blood prices have also led to an increase in lizard people hunger.

The Society Committed to the Advancement of Lizard Evildoing (SCALE) is holding crisis talks in its Alpine lair later this month, though expectation of a breakthrough is low.