God admits selling prayer data to advertisers

The all powerful creator of the universe today acknowledged that it has been selling prayer data to advertisers for at least six years.

What had previously been considered divinely private information has in fact been systematically funnelled to companies like Apple, Disney, and Konami so they can better market garbage products no-one really needs.

“Ad revenue is crucial to our growth strategy,” an afterlife spokesentity said yesterday. “Rest assured we have the utmost respect for the anonymity of everyone who prays, which is just as well because you wouldn’t believe some of the smut people send our way. Really hinky stuff.”

The spokesentity refused to comment on reports god, best known currently by monikers like Yahweh and Allah, called devout followers “dumb bastards” during a recent meeting with stockholders.

The revelations have also led to concerns about the security of prayer data, with several hobbyists claiming you can listen to them live using customised radio equipment.