Printed book sales have increased by 247% in the last three months, according to statistics released by the publishing industry today.

This resurgence of the book trade had initially been attributed to people rediscovering their love of literature during lockdown, but actually it seems to have more to do with insecure professionals cramming as many books into their Zoom backgrounds as possible.

“I don’t want to look stupid during work meetings,” said web developer Hogarth Wilson during a video call in which the entire frame was filled with ornate leather-bound books that he obviously hasn’t read and never will. “If my bedroom doesn’t look like a library with a bed in it I’d come off like a right fool.”

Second-hand bookshops have been the main benefactors of this spike, their affordable prices being particularly attractive to those with no interest in using books as anything more than ornaments.