Alabama to trial child armament scheme
Schoolchildren in Alabama aged seven and up will be issued sawn-off shotguns and buckshot ammo effective immediately, state officials have announced.
The measure, which will be trialled for six months, is the latest effort to reduce mass shootings. Students found without their shotgun will be fined to $1,776 for contempt of freedom.
The National Rifle Association, which co-authored the legislation, has applauded the decision and dismissed concerned parents as treasonous communist scum. Republicans have echoed the NRA’s sentiments. Democrats have taken to social media to blame Russia and congratulate each other for being part of the #Resistance.
“The only way to stop a bad kid with a gun, is a good kid with a gun,” Alabama senator Babe Thomas said in a statement on Friday. “I wholeheartedly back the measure and look forward to seeing the next scumsucking mass shooter drown in a pool of his - or her - own blood.”
It is understood that Florida and West Virginia lawmakers will be keeping a particularly close eye on the scheme’s progress, with views to roll out similar measures themselves.