Leftists lose election, claim future is theirs

Socialist leaders and activists were bullish after losing an eleventh consecutive national election, claiming a closer look at the demographics proves next time, next time, they would be victorious.

The centre left Fairer World Party won 24.7% of the popular vote, a four percent decrease on the previous cycle, while the Fuck You I’ve Got Mine Party tightened its stranglehold on all levels of government with 66.6% of the vote.

“The real story here is who won the youth vote,” said Protector columnist Gertrude Kilmer. “I mean, we lost there too, but it was much closer than many people were expecting.”

In light of this impending and inevitable glory, all levels of the party have resolved to change absolutely nothing about their policies, priorities, rhetoric, or campaign strategy for the foreseeable future.

Sources say the ruling powers are unconcerned by predictions of working class uprisings given it’s a demographic they’ve won handily for decades.