Well-intentioned, policy-free petition reaches 27 million signatures

Sensible people across the world are imploring policy makers to act after a petition calling for people to be nicer to each other neared 30 million signatures yesterday.

The petition was set up by Elaine Swinson, 34, of Indianapolis two days ago after she read several news stories about murder, famine, corruption, inequality, and other such unpleasant things.

“I just felt like I needed to take a stand,” Swinson said. “If people signing an online petition can’t change the world then I don’t know what can. I just don’t know.”

Support for the petition has spread like Australian wildfire, recieving endorsements from Oprah Winfrey, Jeb Bush, the Center for American Progress, and the IRA.

Suggestions from some circles for the campaign to put forward concrete policy proposals and maybe even organise real life protests has been widely renounced as a purity test.