Labour Party leader Keir Starmer has brushed off claims that Jeremy Corbyn has been purged from the party’s recent history.

Corbyn, who some claim was leader of the Labour Party as recently as 2019, is conspicuously absent from thousands of photographs people could have sworn he was in before.

“I don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about,” Starmer said. “I don’t even know who you’re talking about. Jeremy who? Never heard of him.”

According to inside sources, this alleged rewriting of history is part of a broader strategy to narrow Labour’s appeal by alienating leftwing non-voters and appearing like simpering cowards to conservatives.

On the upside, any and all footage of that White Stripes-inspired chant has also been destroyed.