George Orwell books to be rereleased without 'problematic' content

George Orwell’s books and other writings are being rereleased without language and content deemed offensive by its publisher.

“We want to be sensitive to those who may find Orwell’s work unsettling,” said Simon & Schuster CEO Cleveland Drip in a statement released today. “These changes will make his works palatable to a whole new generation.”

Changes include new passages in Nineteen Eighty-Four about how O’Brien had to make pragmatic, tough choices in order to change Big Brother from the inside.

Meanwhile Boxer - the horse in Animal Farm - instead of being slaughtered at the knackers yard now lives happily ever after on another farm in the next town over.

Perhaps most egregiously of all, Orwell’s essay on how to make a good cup of tea has been changed to say that people should put milk in first. Sick. Just sick.