Chair of Democratic Rigging Committee sacked for forgetting about the senate

DRC chair Clement Jones was fired today with immediate effect for neglecting to give Democrats control of the senate while rigging last week’s election.

Senior party officials were apoplectic after Jones, 64, not only made Joe Biden underperform compared to polling averages in the presidential race, but forgot to fix senate contests on the very same fake ballots.

As if to see just how badly he could bungle the job, he also saw to it that Republicans gained seats in the House of Representatives rather than lose them, which is what usually happens when elections are rigged.

His breathtaking show of incompetence has rather scuppered Democratic plans to take over the country, though is perhaps testament to the party’s pathologically weak brand of bipartisanship.

Jones has been replaced by former chair Shanon Kurtz, who was herself previously fired after overseeing Democratic rigging of the 2016 election.