Trump sarcastically nukes Canada
President Donald Trump got one over on the liberal media yesterday by eviscerating all life in Canada with dozens of nuclear bombs.
The world had been concerned that the USA slaughtering millions of innocent people had been done seriously, but Trump later clarified that the whole operation had been sarcastic, you idiots.
“Trudeau was a bad man, a rude man, very very rude,” Trump tweeted as mushroom clouds rose high above the charred and highly radioactive land that used to be Canada. “He asked me why the US military was crossing into Canadian territory and stealing ventilators from hospitals. Very rude. The bombings were sarcastic. It was a joke. A joke.”
When asked what the joke was exactly, or what it had to do with the media, the president responded by tweeting praise of himself then retweeting those tweets and thanking himself for the support.
“These are nasty questions, very very nasty,” he eventually said in response to a Canadian exchange student whose entire family had been vaporized in the blasts. “People really need to lighten up.”
In happier news, coronavirus cases in Canada have dropped to zero and are likely to stay there indefinitely.