Obituary: Mittens

Mittens the cat, 8, passed away last week after a very, very brief battle with a moving truck. One of a litter of six, Mittens had been a fixture in the neighbourhood and was much loved by her family, though the feeling was not at all mutual. If anything Mittens felt deep disdain for her owners, seeing their unconditional, simpering love as a kind of weakness. She used humans for food and shelter and felt no affection for them, especially the children.